The Funniest Performance Review Comments

Whether you have conducted them or participated in them, everyone can relate to a performance review. I believe the performance review is a valuable tool to assess any individual’s performance and to allow open discussion between the employer and employee about current roles and where the employee see their role taking them in the future.

Performance reviews can also provide ammunition for TV shows, Dilbert, and laugh out loud moments where you are caught wondering: they did not just say that, did they!?! You may have had a moment like that during your recent performance discussion!

Speaking of the funniest performance review comments, these individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations:

• Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…..and has started to dig.
• His men would follow him anywhere…but only out of morbid curiosity.
• This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
• She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
• He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
• This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

And in case you were wondering what those performance review terms REALLY mean:

• Exceptionally Well Qualified…….Made No Major Blunders Yet
• Active Socially………………………..Drinks a Lot
• Quick Thinking………………………..Offers Plausible Excuses
• Careful Thinker……………………….Won’t Make a Decision
• Uses Logic on Difficult Jobs……..Gets Someone Else To Do It
• Meticulous Attention to Detail….A Nit Picker
• Has Leadership Qualities………….Is Tall or Has A Loud Voice
• Good Communication Skills……..Spends Lots of Time on Phone
• Loyal………………………………………Can’t Get a Job Anywhere Else

What is the funniest review you have ever received? Or perhaps you have heard something through the grapevine? Either way, don’t hesitate to share your comments below. Or let us know in this month’s poll: Do you dread a performance appraisal or does it drive you to perform better?