Influential Habits

The art of influence in management is less about being up on someone else, than listening, being generous and using key interpersonal skills, by Marie Mcinerney.

PARTICIPANTS IN RICHARD SEARLE’S advanced negotiation and influence strategies program invariably give Adolf Hitler the nod as a great leader, despite his evil acts. Asked why, the course participants offer up that he was “visionary”, “charismatic” and “successful”.

“They give a list of attributes that a lot of people would say you need in order to be influential as a leader,” Searle says. “But my point is, if Adolf Hitler fits that list, then how damn useful is the list?”

What’s missing, he believes, is thinking about influence in terms of to what end and purpose?

“It’s a value judgement,” says Searle. “Personally, I believe you can’t – well you can, but you shouldn’t – divorce values and ethic from influence”.

It’s a common enough view among the experts, the conviction that influence should, in some ways at least, be used for the “greater goods’ in order to distinguish it form mere manipulation.

“Yes, you can use it in manipulative, prescriptive and compulsive ways,” says Searle, who conducts his program at Mt Eliza Executive Education, part of Melbourne Business School. “But our experience is that when you do that it actually undermines your level of influence.”

Editors Carolyn Barker and Robyn Coy give a neat definition of influence at work in their preface to Understanding Influence of leaders at all levels, part of the Australian Institute of Management’s (AIM) management today book serious.

“Simply defined,’’ they say, “Power is the ability to change the behaviour, attitudes and beliefs of others. Influence is the exercise of that power. In other words, power is something that you may have or strive for, influence is what you do with it.”

And it’s something we’ve been concerned about for years; decades, if the continuing success of Dale Carnegie’s famed text How to Win Friends and Influence People is anything to go by. One of the first self-help books, it was published in 1936, and has sold more than 15 million copes globally.

MAKING FRIENDS AND INFLUEING PEOPLE

A summary of Dale Carnegie’s long-lasting tips;

• The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong’
• If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
• Being in a friendly way
• Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
• Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
• Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
• Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
• Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
• Appeal to the nobler motives
• Dramatise your ideas
• Throw down a challenge

THE INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

The essence of Carnegie’s good advice was his emphasis on listening, says Susan Nicholson, a partner with mentors psychology for business.”

That‘s often overlooked by people who think influencing means talking at a bringing people around. And suggesting they should see your views. But in reality, the best influencers are brilliant listeners,” she says.

Also important, Nicholson says, is to know that influence comes from a whole range of factors and to not “overwork’ one particular kind. “People very often think of it too narrowly, they think about it in terms of “position” influence or “expertise” influence, rather than recognising that influence comes through a much broader networking process, of knowing what’s going on and how to connect with people across the company or client base.

“Some of the best influencers are the people with great interpersonal skills,” Nicholson adds.

For Juliet Erickson, author of The art of persuasion;’ How to influence people and get what you want, the vital starting point is in understanding that individuals make decisions.

“I think we still spend too much time focusing on groups, rather than individuals, in term of how buying decisions are made, whether for products or ideas,” says Erickson. “It gets lazy. People think, “if I was a marketing director, how would I think?’.”

She gives an example of a group of clients who were “shaking in their boots” ahead of a marketing a pitch to a female executive renowned as “the scariest thing on the planet.” That was until they did their research and found out she colleted water colours, liked chocolate-chip biscuits with pecans, and had tow little dogs; she emerged as a real person to talk to, not an object. “Never pitch to a stranger,” Erickson says.

POOR BEHAVIOURS

Another major risk is seeing the exercise of influence as a competition in which you ‘beat’ the other person, according to business advisor, Paddy Spruce.

“So, in the context of influencing people, if I can persuade, cajole, manipulate or speak better than you, I will become more and you will become less. Strange thinking!’ says Spruce.

As an advisor to a range of clients, including mining, telecommunication, and automotive companies, Spruce has seen all the clichés, not least the guy who refused to offer his hand to be shaken ahead of a meeting. “I asked him about it later and he said “I do that to put people off guard’.” Shelves of books, Spruce says, are full of such “stupid, puerile tricks, [which] only lead to more game playing, poor relationships and failed negotiations.’’

“Why not attempt to be generous so people will instead want to be generous back?” he proffers. “Really try hard to identify what the needs of the other party are so you can meet, not defeat, them.”

It’s an approach that comes in apart from Spruce’s experience working in prisons and with people suffering mental health issues. “It deepened my conviction that most people will do the right thing if it’s in their interests to do so,” he says.

Spruce’s own two-day Influencing Skills course has been used for nearly 20 years to train new recruits at construction management firm Hooker Cockram.

“We don’t actually build, we manage the people that do that,” says HR Manager Paula McNicol. “There are many situations that impact on the project outcome through the involvement of numerous parties from contractors, unions and clients, so it’s very important that our people have good influencing skills.”

LIKE SAINTHOOD

Bing influential is not, Searle says, “as glamorous’ as it’s made out to be. It’s risky. You’re trying to get someone to learn something new, to change, to act differently. And there are limits to our influence from ingrained cultures, organisational structures and processes intent on meeting the bottom line.

As a result, we tend to see real influence as often unattainable, a little like sainthood. As well as testing their views on Hitler, Searle’s program also asks participants who they believe has exercised major positive influence. Former GE CEO Jack Welch usually comes up for the full-time MBA student, Virgin’s Richard Branson for senior executives. But invariably the main nominees are global leaders like Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, and Burma’s Aung San Suu Kyi. Trying to match them is beyond most of us, but that shouldn’t let us off the hook.

TOPS TIPS FOR BETTER INFLUENCE:

• Staying focused: the busier you look, the more influential you are. Wrong, says communication coach, Juliet Erickson. Stop bringing your laptop, Blackberry and mobile into meetings. “Real good listeners are people who have a certain humility about their self – importance,” she says.

• The art of framing:  What we often do, says Richard Searle, when we’re caught up in the business of negotiating, is focus too much on the nitty gritty and not enough on the framework of the discussion. One person believes all tress are sacred, the other that you should chop them down. Attempting to reframe the discussion into small actionable, operational steps where you don’t try to change other people’s beliefs can be very influential.

• Be strategic: Like any good management approach, the exercises of influence should be strategic, says Susan Nicholson. Think about what you want to achieve, for yourself and the organisation; who are the critical people in that process? With whom do you need- not in the short term but in the long term – to be building relationships and understanding?

[Source: Management Today, 11 October 2008]